Things that get me through...

So today is December 6th...

ALREADY DECEMBER 6TH!?!

Dang, it seems like only yesterday (ok, maybe the day before yesterday) when I was boarding that plane in New York City heading to that unfamiliar destination. Let me confess, I am stunned I have made it this far. Seriously. At the beginning (you can ask anyone) I was sooooo ready to come home. Rain, hills, no sleep...who wants to start their college experience like that? But, I stayed. For the better apparently.

I often wonder, "How? How did I manage? What got me to where I am right now - nearly a week away from home." Well, many things...

- Friendships. You know how you are thrown into situations where you know absolutely no one, and the only way to survive is making friends? Seriously, any camp or new school situation is reflected here. Well, that's how the first week was. People who were unfamiliar with one another trying to scope the scene for people to call their friend. This whole thing was out of desperation. You would find the thinnest excuse to be someone's friend. "Oh, you like the color orange, too! Let's be friends!" "You are from there? Oh my goodness, I went there on vacation when I was 4!!! Let's be friends!" The possibilities are endless. But as the time progressed, these "friendships" began to show each persons true color. If it weren't for that desperation at the beginning and you were back in a familiar place, would some of these people be friends? Or is it really just changing your own personality hoping that will secure at least one friend on campus? I have found myself in this position. There have been a few people that I, too, had latched onto for support at the beginning of this journey basing our relationship on a flimsy excuse. I honestly thought that these people were just like me...that was, until Academic Travel time. This seems to be the turning point where people start reconfiguring themselves and going back to the ways they are at home. Honestly, I felt myself doing the same thing. People true personalities began to show. This molting-type process was awful. Really. I feel like I am hurting some people by saying that we are not compatable - even for friendship. But throughout this college experience, I have to start setting boundries for myself, I have to see what make me "Me". I never meant to hurt anybody (far from it in fact), I just want each person to be comfortable and content in their friendships and be able to be themselves without ridicule or awkward feelings. Now, I now I have had urges to try and change said people to fit my personality, but it's not my place, and it's not their place to change me. I am Me and you are You. No changing that.
Now don't get me wrong, I have found some people that meld really well with me. Those are the people that are keeping me here next semester. (sidenote - I think it's just me, but many of these people are faculty members - that ALWAYS happens...eh, it's me I guess). These are the people that I acn spill things to. They are the ones that don't mind listening, of course if I listen in return.

- Cooking. This is my passions. I love the kitchen. Small or big, it's my domain. Get me a few ingredients, and I will whip up whatever I can - in 12 different ways of course. My little kitchenette has played its role, too, in getting me where I am today. If I was given a room without one, Wisconsin, here I come...but I got one. I find myself cooking more than using my meal plan. I hate that thing. Seriously. Don't even get me started on that (one of my upcoming posts is going to be a Pros and Cons list of Franklin...all I'm saying). The kitchen, I have found out, is one of the places where I am "Me". When I step in there, I feel so different. There are no cares in the world - just the care of how to make a meal out of a piece of chicken, some cheese and a few mushrooms.

- The List. Ok, the many lists. My life is now run on little lists. I have everything written down that I need to accomplish before getting home on my dry-erase board (aka my closet). They are not only helpful, but they really give you a sense of accomplishment when you can cross them off. THe main list, however, that is setting that path for me is that Life List. I now have goals in my life - set purposes to go on each day as if it was the last day. Oh, and I keep adding to the list, too. The latest additions:

-- Make a gingerbread house (really, I never have).
-- Hit deans list at some point.
-- Be a guest on a talk show.

I love the list. It helps you get out ridiculous dreams and thoughts. But, since they are on that list, they have to be crossed off. So, it's going to be some challenging, but fun, years ahead!

- My family and friends back at home. Let me just give a shout out to the wonderful people who created the Internet, Facebook, Skype, and AIM. Seriously guys, you were part of the force keeping me here. Kudos to you! I have been able to keep in such close contact with the people that mean sooo much to me. But honestly, even without it, I think I could have survived. I have this support of these people. The love and support that then give me surmounts any qualms I may have had about staying.

Well, this is the short list of how I am here today. Who knows, it may all change once I am back on American soil, but for now, I gotta keep being the best Me.