Reflecting on Me Not Wanting to be Here Anymore!

Yes, it is true, I have been slightly regretting my desicion to come back to Franklin for a second semester. Honestly, in my head, I was kind of done with the place - ready to move on. (And before I go any further, I really want to say that I do feel a little childish and ungreatful for thinking this - it's like I have been given this great opportunity, but all I want to do is escape it. You know?)

I have two ideas of why I really didn't want to be here...

A) I really think this is a reflection of the fact that knowing that I will not be back makes me not want to get attached to another place. It's like, ok, I have made up my mind...finally. Nothing else can stand in my way of coming back to the states. And, if anything does get in my way (i.e. another semester at Franklin), I complain. I make up any excuse not to enjoy it. Switzerland is an amazing place, and is home to great possibilities, but I am trying to find all of the negatives so I won't be swayed in staying more years.

B) I am too much of a homebody. First family, then friends, then me. Honestly, I miss everyone, and I think seeing them for just a month was not sufficient. I have such amazing relationships back in the states that being gone for so long just isn't what I am cut out for. People have said that the only way to break off and become truly independant from my "past life" is to do something like this - separate from it for an extended period and grow OK with seeing people that I love only once in a while. But, honestly, is that me? I know traveling has been my dream, and to do so would mean this type of lifestyle, but is that really me? Can I be separated for so long?

Well, I am not so regretful to just pack up and head back, so I am going to stick out the semester. I think I was feeling this way at the beginning of last semester (but I really didn't blog about it...oops) so maybe it's just a phase. Well, fingers crossed anyways.

Living in regret for 4 months? That I can tell you is not me. No more regret - make the best of any situation - no day but today! (Thank you "Rent"!)